About a month ago I added a day to my gym workouts (I decided I’m wearing, and rocking, the bikini I’ve been shying away from that hangs in my closet). I started out strong, I was doing everything I needed do; enjoying my workouts, drinking my water and stretching. I woke up on my additional gym day and was so sore I could hardly get down the stairs. I put on my gym clothes and as I was making a snack, I started to think thoughts like - what will my trainer think? I’m not keeping up my end of the bargain and what if I can’t rock the bikini? Took me a few minutes to clear all the crazy coming up and then I asked my body if she wanted to have an extra gym day each week and it was NO. I laughed at myself and then asked my body how many days she wanted and setup my schedule to match.
I then called my trainer and he kept trying to guilt me into going, reminded me of my bikini plans, so I thanked him, and I instantly felt a weight released and instead of lifting at the gym, I went for a nice long walk, had an Epsom salt bath and did some stretching. The old me would have been at the gym no matter what, not wanting to upset anyone or impact their day, so as soon as I hung up the phone, I acknowledged choosing me and what works for me, and my body.
3 Steps to Choose You
1. Check in with you. Is this really your idea or plan? Often, we align with the people around us and end up agreeing to things we would rather not. We try to keep the peace or not rock the boat all the while feeling miserable that we didn’t speak up.
Take some time and think about these questions:
How would you like to live your life?
Would you like to be healthy and vital? Write it down.
Would you like to have more fun with your family and feel the love? Write it down.
Pick one thing and start to look at ways you can implement that into your life.
Ask: “What would it take to have more _____________ in my life?” Keep asking until you get an awareness or action steps.
2. Notice how you are telling the story. My guides remind me to be mindful of how I tell the story, because I’ll get to be right. I've proven them right on more than one occasion.
Be mindful of your thoughts and spoken words. It only takes repeating something 3 times for it to become part of your energy field.
About a year ago, I caught myself saying, “I’m so tired”. In one day I said it 9 times! No wonder I didn’t have the juice to get through my day, I was telling myself to be tired. I started to reframe what I was saying to, “I have more and more energy everyday.” And, after about 2 weeks, it completely shifted for me.
I invite you to start noticing the stories, words and thoughts you are choosing. Just a willingness to be aware of them, will start to show you any patterns or limitations so you can change them.
3. Be willing to be assertive and speak your truth. Growing up, I was always told to be a “good girl” and it wasn’t until years later that I realized I was being praised for not having a voice, not speaking up. I’ll admit, when I first started to speak my truth, it felt weird, really weird, but the more I practiced, the easier it got. And, now if I don’t speak my truth, I will feel my energy constrict and I do not dim my light for anyone.
Notice when you feel the urge to spit something out – this is your higher self giving you the nudge to speak up. Your words don’t have to be unkind, they just need to be voiced in a way that works for you.
I remember the first year I told my Mom that we weren’t going over for Christmas dinner, and instead were going skiing that day. The guilt and shame she sprinkled on me could have decorated a whole tree! But, I stood my ground and we had the best day ever at the ski hill and we spent time with my family in a way that worked for us. I was willing to disappoint and assert myself to make sure I was following my truth.
When we make the choice to live a life we love, it can make other people uncomfortable. They are used to you filling your role and are not sure about the new you and you offer them a space to choose them and this can make people really uncomfortable. No matter what, find what makes your heart sing and shine bright!
Shauna Marie Chandler
Reiki Master/Teacher, Angel Readings, Sacred Geometry